There’s two hours to go until the crunch presentation. Pete rushes up the stairs. “I’ve done the slides for you”, he says, and hands over a bunch of paper. You look through them and your heart sinks. They’re all black and white and the paper quality is poor. You had told him to go to the print shop and get them professionally finished in glossy colour. What is the chef executive going to think?! What do you do?
Option A – Attack!
“What on earth have you done, Pete? I told you I needed these slides looking great. We’re presenting to the board of directors. Get down to the printers now and get these changed….”
Option B – Pause… and then respond.
”Pete, look, I appreciate you’ve got these done quickly, but I’m afraid this quality just won’t do today. Remember I said this is for the chef executive?”
Pete nods.
“What can we do to improve these?”, you ask him.
“Well”, Pete replies sheepishly, “I guess if I run I can get to the Print Shop before we start presenting…”
Option A gets things done quickly, but what will the consequences be for your relationship with Pete? Next time he makes a mistake, will he admit it? Not likely, he knows what sort of reaction awaits him. Will he work hard for a boss that is quick to reprimand when things go wrong?
Pausing is an important skill when developing emotional intelligence. Stressful situations tend to get handled first by the inner primitive parts of our brain. It floods our body with hormones ready to fight or flight. It takes a few seconds for the more advanced parts of our head to retrieve control and think more rationally. So when you feel emotions like anger or fear, do nothing…for a few seconds.
Okay here’s another situation. You’re meeting up with your team to discuss where to hold the next end-of-year social trip.
“So what have you come up with”, you ask.
“Well”, says Lucy, “I’ve been looking at Paris. There are plenty of art galleries to see and a great hotel near the station.”
“And what about you Pete?”
“Paris and art galleries, that just sounds really dull! I’ve been looking at a day of paint balling followed by a pub and club in central London.”
Pete and Lucy look hopefully at you. Faced with these two extremes what do you do?
Option A – Take Sides
“Well Lucy, I don’t think Parisian art galleries will be popular. Pete…paint balling…that sounds like a great idea. “
Option B – Mediate.
“Well thanks for those two ideas. I think both of them have pluses and minuses. Remember though we’re looking for something that will appeal to everyone. How could we adapt them to do that?”
Lucy’s cultural tour might be completely inappropriate when your team’s full of partying philistines, but rejecting it so quickly is going to be pretty de-motivating for her. Another important part of being emotionally intelligent is understanding and taking account of other people’s emotions. Managers, who do this, have teams who feel valued, understood and worthy.
Developing soft skills, like emotional intelligence, brings improvements in hard results. Studies show that teams led by emotionally intelligent people are on average 15% to 20% more productive. It also brings better working relationships, a more positive outlook, and a much higher ability to cope with change and stressful situations.
How emotionally intelligent are you at the moment? Try using the Emotional Intelligence Self Assessment and then work on areas you need to improve. Next time you feel that fight or flight part of your brain take over, pause, count to three and wait for the rational part of you to kick in. It’ll be worth it.
Trackback URL for this post: http://www.orgtopia.com/2009/09/09/being-emotionally-intelligent-why-it-matters/trackback/
{ 1 trackback }
Comments on this entry are closed.